MOM OF 10 BLOG!!

MINDSOF EXCELLENCE LLC..........

MOM OF 10 BLOG!!

MINDSOF EXCELLENCE LLC..........

Procrastination

I can finally admit I have procrastinating tendencies and I am unsure as to how I became this way. Did I allow hurt and pain to take over my thought processes ? Did  I become someone for everyone but myself? I attempted to try and make myself love my third husband while knowing we were not compatible for one another. In the meantime I was drowning inside and and not being loved the way I felt I should have been. I accepted less than what I feel I was entitled too and I gave more than what I had to give. Yet  I procrastinated on leaving. Why? Can you ask yourself why do you procrastinate on decisions? See if you can find out why and then develop a plan of change. START TODAY!

AUDITING MYSELF!

Good Morning,

 

I know we all have heard that sometimes we must shut down whats not good for  us to get what God has for us. I believe in this. I love the fact that God will bring me out of darkness to redirect my path and set my feet where they need to be to accomplish what God has for me. You see I am  resident therapist and the people whom I  encounter daily mean a lot to me. So that means I definitely must stay aware of how  I am represented to others. Ihave made mistakes that Iamnot proud of but I also wont continueto make excuses asto why I keep deciding to make the same mistakes. We get comfortable with who we used to be until we block out who we are supposed to become. I used to beacheater so everytime my husband said something that pissed me off I would respond in my head oh well I will find somebody else. When the discomfort of a disagreement made me feel some type of way I would blame him and seek out comfort in the arms of someone else.  Noone ever role modeled a healthy relationship but I wont use that as a crutch because Im a grown woman who cant keep living in the past.I asked God to bless me with someone whom would love me and the children that came with me. I knew that once I found him or hefound me I wasnt going to want to be the old me. Ihad to audit myself and know Iam not who others see me as. I can disagree with my husband and yet still love him. I dont have  to shed my clothes for someone to make me feel loved. I am at a point now  that how God sees me means a whole lot more to me than how people view me. I am reclaiming my sanity and dropping off my past. I am not my parents I am a child of God  who seeks to help andsupport all who God sees fit. I am auditing  myself you should try it too. Get rid of old ways and bad habits and clean up your act. Be a voice of change for others as you grab a hold of you. Its okto step outside of your comfort zone if your goingto do good for yourself and others. Keep the faith and know that God will keep you if you trust in him!

 

Break The Pattern!

Good Morning, We have all been placed in a tough situation in regards to the COVID19 and having to quarantine ourselves and our families. Some of us have had our faith and patience tested with our children and having to be in the home listening to the refrigerators open repeatedly or the arguments that occur when its time for chores. Either way we have ALL encountered having to transition and adjust to another way of life. In doing so I found that I was fearful at first due to the unknown and not understanding how we will be after this too shall pass. Families have broken up and money and store items had been hard to find but I can say this that not a day had gone by that I was unable to feed my family along with my husband. Both of us are/were essential and never stopped working even when we didnt know what was coming down the pipe healthwise. I became even closer to God parying and asking that he use me to assist those who are scared and struggling. I even had to take a look at who and what I was percieved to be to myself and my husband. You see once we get used to those old habits and patterns its hard to take a new path because fear and comfort can and will keep us from progressing. I had to remove old people and make way for those who mean me well. I had to stop running and looking for an excuse to pretend that marriage life isnt for me. My husband is so caring and laid back and at times I get angry because I want him to feel when im feeling even if its anger. LOL! I was accustomed to those who kept me angry so of course I figure he needs to be upset when I am but thats not fair. Those old patterns were coming back to haunt me and ruimn something that I know is a blessing to me. It will be coming up on one year of us being married on June 15, 2020 and I have prayed so much that God would take these old feelings away and behaviors and allow me to allow him to love me. Yes, I am a therapist but I dont have all the answers I depend on God to take me through and provide me with common sense to know whats right from wrong. I am not my past and I am not going to carry the burdens of those who have used me. I am not responsible for those who have hurt me and neither is my husband but I will do is love, honor, and cherish this man who married me with my children and grandchildren. We dated for 6 yrs and were married on year number 7. Let us not allow our past to hold us back from the blessings of our future. Break the Patterns today and let not your hearts be troubled! There is joy in the midst of chaos.

Love Self First!!!

Ok I will finally admit that I have fucked up. I allowed my childhood to run me crazy as I have felt as I needed to be married in order to have God's acceptance. I missed the fatherly love that others were able to feel. I was blessed with my foster father and he was so amazing I really loved him and with my marriage I believed I just wanted someone to hold me, love me, and let me know they had my back. Well, I hadnt taken the time to love me and forgiv my past and move into what God has for me. I felt I wanted to be sexual but I had to marry the person whom I was sleeping with for God's approval and all it did was cause me additional grief. I had loved this man for 5 years but I really didnt know what love was yet. I know he was respectful to me, cooked, and took me dancing. I just wanted the attention I missed and I thought I had found it but missed the love part. It is a differnec between love, lust, and intimacy and even in your 40's I still hadnt gotten it right. You see I hadnt gotten to know hm as a person because I was looking more as to what he was doing and not how he was loving me. You never understand and get to really witness how somebody loves you until you live with them. I hadnt noticed the differences we had and hw he was near retirement and I was just getting into the prime of my career. We were totally going in opposite directions and I was losing me everyday I would lay beside him. I was sexually frustrated and not getting any intimacy because he too didnt know how to be intimate. I was told he was used to quickies with strange women with no feelings involved so why would I be any different. I was looking for dad and dad didnt even know how to love. I dont regret it because it allowed me to start my journey towards wholeness. It took me a long time to get here and I have arrived taking everyday at a time and living on my standards. My soon to be ex husband didnt even understand why my children like to come in the room and talk to me. I had to explain that we had each other for so long and thats what we did daily and now he wanted to change that with his old school rules. I did try and accomodate him. After I had spoe with him on daily talks that I wasnt sexually fulfilled and I needed love I found out he was sending comments to other women telling them they were beautiful after I had been asking for this for so long. I didnt cry but I did push him out of hurt. I left my home that night and didnt return. I came bacl later that morning and he didnt come home that night either. Right now I hope he just takes his items and leaves Im sorry my past hurts cause dme to think on my emotions. I am listening toK Michelle radio and building up my confidence that its a big world waitinv  for me to help those who seek validation, life coaching, and counseling. I love me and was very much aware of what I deserved and needed in my life so when the time came and the real him was brought forth there was no discussion I just loved me more and decided that God gave me the information and was waiting on me to respond because he too knew I needed more. Please lets love ourselves first and not take our unresolved life into another person's space because its not fair to either one of us. LOVE SELF FIRST AND GET FAMILIAR WITH YOU!

When in doubt?

 Its fall now and the leaves are changing and this is the time that we all start preparing for new ventures and refreshing our spirits to welcome a closing of a new year and refelecting on the ups and downs of the current year. It is a time that we close old friendships or begin new ones. I usually just like to see how God has the power to change everything in his own time. I am going through some things at the moment but I choose to not allow it to consume me. I recently doubted myself as it appears everytime I try to get ahead something always has to pop up and destroy it. I am currently learning how to actually be a real wife and allow my husband to guide me. He isnt one to confront situations as he doesnt like arguments but I like to talk things out and let my feelings out. Im in preparation season as this is not something I was taught to do. As an outpatient therapist I have to listen to those who seek my services all while being a wife, mother, friend, sister, aunt, and co-worker. It has been times that I didnt want to converse with my own children after work because I had to listen to so many people that day. I prayed on yesterday and I told God that Im thankful that he chose me to have 10 of his children even though he took one back early,the fact that he allowed me to see what it was like to be in a family was him loving me. So the doubt of why was I chosen to be a mother was in the kids.I tell you this I love living and I have been fearful at times I will have to die and leave my children, but then I heard a message to prepare them for that day. I told my boys I cant be your dad, but I will give you the advice you need to be independent and love God first. We as parents are teachers whether we believe it or not. Weare the first encounters of individuals our children will see and we have a duty and assisgnment by God to try and get in right. When in doubt reflect and pray. Walk in silence and your purpose will be revealed and your strength will be renewed.

Love you All!

Backstabbers

Wow this has been a time of transition in which God has put me in my place and he has also kept me out of the grasp of wolves. As I get older in this field I hve seen some things that had me question if what I was doing was right. I made some mistakes along the way and have to humble myself and kniow that ethics is everything. Im not the individual who will laugh in your face and then get nad because you are trying to better yourself. I will let you know in the beginning that I dont roll with you but I will pray for you.I will keep on with my LLC and motivational blogging. My work is ordained by God so dont get upset and angry because Im not making you more money because I want to get a piece of what God has for me. I have been tossed to and fro and I knew God would remove me. I have people who look you in the eyes and despise you. I will continue to be that life coach and LPC and those who I motivate along the way just know God did it for a reason. Please dont ever let money be your only love because once that happens then you piss off God and it all can be taken in a moments notice. Those Backstabbers!

Transition

As I sit here at my third job I am reflecting on the fact that God has brought me through so much. I am newly married (June 15, 2019) and finally in love. My youngest son has just turned 18 and it brought me to tears. My oldest son is going on tour soon to make moves with his music. I believe that as a parent we have the power of protection while they reside with us and as they get older we lose it and they have to live outside of that realm. I am so grateful for these children and I know God chose me to do this mond blowing job and I wouldnt trade it for the world. My places of employment have been challenging but I still have grown to respect the business and those whom I work for are now my family whether they like it or not! Transition is imperative and I embrace it as God moves us around on our quest to be what he created us to be, but its your choice if your prepared. I am a servant and what I do is from the heart. Self; enpowerment is the is hard when we all going through something at different times and maybe at the same time. I love the fall and it always makes me think of how the leaves fall in preration for new leaves as we clear out our closets and storages in preparation fro the new things we will have over the next season. I must remind myself that my kids and grandkids will be grown and I will age. I must know that we are here to make a difference and love hard as Jesus did for us. So living in fear isnt on my bucket list. I will take this business I have and create a small round table for the mental health businessess and counselors to have somewhere to vent.I want awareness of mental health and the struggling families to be brought to the forefront as Congress cuts money from mental health. Lets us all advocate for those who cant. Welcome transition and the new beginnings it brings.

Marriage can be an amazing experience!

 

I can truly say I had to humble myself so much as a single woman who was used to doing everything on her own.I was married at an young age and before I knew it I had fallen in love with the first guy I knew in high school and it was beautiful in the beginning. I will not get into details as I am seeking to have a talk show one day to allow everyday people like myself to vent out their frustrations and accept their lives while in the midst of transitioning. I am now in my thrid marriage with a man who is 15 years older than me. I am so excited about how he is so tender in his talk and how he loves God and how much he loved his mother. He was a single father who too was also used to doing verything on his own and now has to be responsible for me as his help mate. I have in teh past unknowingly used harmful words to hurt others as I was only doing what I saw others do and them it broke down my spirit and allowed the devil to consume what was good. I can say that I pray for God to not allow ne to say anything that will destroy my husband's ego. I want him to know I respect him and love him with all I have. The nights when we just hold each other is amazing. Yes, anyone can have the physical but when you can lay on his heart and just listen to him breath then you are in love. I will hold him down through all the good and the bad. I will pray for us everyday.  Lord allow my husband to recognize what spiritual gifts he has to help others out in our community as he leads me I will follow, but he doent come before my God. Im finally learning how to be loved and give love in return. I no longer will hang around those who arent in the same mindset because it caused me a lot in the past. So as I serve those whom God puts in my path pray for me and I will pray for you!

 

Happy Mother's Day!

This is for all the Women/Mothers on Mothers day, Hope you all have a great day. And this is the best day to let people know you are Capable of anything! And that you can Accomplish anything in life. Have A Nice Day- Her Daughter Teona!

 

Domestic Violence is real

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=980762441967571&id=100001014734580

Support one another!

We can visit and hit like buttons all day but what has happened to leaving comments or are we all so into emoji's we dont even talk anymore. If you really have something on your mind then blogging is a good avenue to engage in. Leave a comment let me know you supported me and just say HI. Or am I asking too much?

Live everyday!!!

Good Morning as we all are aware of the mother of Pdiddy's children went to be with God on yesterday. I believe those in death save those of us who are still left behind. I asked God to keep me here to see the kids grow and to accomplish what it is he has for me because I felt the pain of losing a mother early. We as people get caught up and forget the blessings we have before us . I just want to live God. I want to save and serve so let me stay a while longer. Let us remember weare given a time and when its over its over.

Is Age really just a number?

Hey everyone,

 

Lately I have been juggling with feelings I have for younger males./ I have found them to be very attractive and even appealing. I am currently dating an older gentleman and find him very easy going and laid back but at this point in my life I dont want to be bored and tied down. I just want good sex and companionship for outings and late nights. I dont know if this is something good or bad but its currently where my mindset is. I have money and proud of making mine, but would appreciate contributions to my independent lifestyle. I dont need a kids father they have one and I dont need a dad I just need space. Two failed marriages will make you appreciate all that you missed in your younger years. Now, I am taking back my life and living it up as my kids get older! Age is jus a number because your body may change but your mind is the same.

Transition into what God has for you!

Today I have started a new journey and I am excited about where and what God has for me , as I  put some closure to one chapter and move into a new one. At times people are scared of transition and new eras. I refuse to allow life to pass me by as I just watch others recieve all God has for them. I believe I owe it to myself first, my kids, grandkids,and those who lost their way due to being frowned upon by others. My mother told me before she closed her eyes I was going to be okay and I have to and will believe in what she told me. God and I have been so close at times when I left my kids father I told God okay "you are who you say you are then show me". The times were tough and many of nights I cried and cried being that I dont have a lot of family to speak too on a regular basis. God was constant and has yet to let me down. I am a mom of 10 who was chosen and I am honored to love on others.

Forgiveness is Hard!

Good Morning, On yesterday I turned another day older and I had time to reflect as to what I had been through on my journey as a mother, entrepreneur, friend, fiancé, and child of God. I came to grasp with the fact I am loved by God and I was given this life to share how he will and is alive in all of us. I have been blessed with an opportunity to be a mother to 10 children never in my life would I have dreamed of this. I wouldn’t have dreamed of raising them alone. I hold no ill feelings towards their father, but it took me a long time to forgive him. I had endured a lot during our marriage and I too was at fault, but when I realized we together was not healthy for our children I gave up. I was physical, and I look back remembering that was all I saw and ten I only reacted to what I knew. So, in work relationships I tend to do the same if I’m assaulted verbally, I will reach back with the same demeanor because its what I was accustomed too. As a counselor I had to buckle down and breath in the words that I tell others utilize your calm down techniques and breath. Forgiveness at times makes some of us including myself feel weak and if we failed because we forgave, but we really won. I was listening to a sermon on forgiving and today I have forgiven all who hurt me and will continue to pray for those who will hurt me. I hope those who I have hurt forgave me also. I’m mature now and everyday I’m learning and want my kids and grandkids along with those whom I touch daily to know forgiveness was first given by Jesus as he forgave us for all the wrong, we did. Forgiveness isn’t easy and whoever said so more power to them. Everyday I will walk in forgiveness and if my heart is hardened then I will pray for a better attitude, but I will forgive.

People do need people!

If you live your life believing you dont need someone else through your journey you are wrong. The human touch is something that is supposed to stir us up inside and thats how we love or either leave when the feeling is wrong and uncomfortable. I actually love people and those who have hurt me I wont give up on them I will just pray for them and remove myself from the equation. You see nobody is greater than the other in the eyesight of God. We were created in his image and we too must serve even those who have hurt us the worst. Its so easy to stay in a bubble and say damn everybody but I like talking , listening, and socializing. Im  here to say as much as people have done me wrong I still want them to make it. So yes we need each other as we need the animals, sun,air,shelter, and God himself. Lean On Me hopefully something I say will encourage and inspire you!!

My trials dont define me and my mind wont defeat me !!!!

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Tracey Johnson, LPC-R,MA,CMHC

A mind that thinks alone will capture nothing but great minds together can accomplish anything!

As a mom of 10 I have had the privilege of being around a lot of different minds and I cherish all of them as their own uniqus individuals. My blog is to be a tool of support for those whom feel lonely and their mind is unsettled. I live to be a servant anyway I can. Feel free to leave questions or comments. I will respond as soon as I can....... Tracey Johnson, LPC-R,MA,CMHC

Who are your friends?

 

In this life we live have family and friends. Some of our fami ly we can even associate with the word friends, but what about those of us who cant. Do we just stay alone or link up with those who will never have our best interest at heart? I am one who has been with my best friend for at least 38 years and the tears we have cried together were due to the similarity in our lives. I have been called boogie, arrogant, intimidating, and outspoken. All of those words had started to damage my spirit until I refused to ever again title anyone else as a friend. I was trecently damaged by a close associate who had almost caused me to give up on my own people, but then God said child you are mine, and I wont allow nothing to come between us. So, today Im asking you to re-evaluate that word friend.

Restart your Mind and restart you!!!

Im just a mom who has experienced some of the most traumatic experiences but someway and somehow God has kept me and he never let me succomb to my interferences. I love everyone and hold on to my enemies because God loves all so who am I to not do the same. Join me in a conversation. LIVE ME APP- MOMOF10 @ONLYBUTTA- INSTAGRAM Im also on LINKED IN Tracey LPC-R jOHNSON.